N₂O - Where Science Meets Fun

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Get relaxed - it's time for Friday Science Jokes

An unknown author once said: 

"Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves, for they shall never cease to be amused". 

We will rephrase him as follows - 

"Blessed are they who can laugh at science jokes, for then, they can laugh at almolst anything".




You might be a scientist:

If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail.

If your wristwatch has more computing power than a 486DX-50.

If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal
point in the right place.

If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than
hanging coats and taping ducts.

If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find
the burnt-out bulb in the string.

If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi
movie looking for technical inaccuracies.

If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.

If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that
actually takes five minutes to run.

***


 What type of dogs do chemists own?
-Laboratory Retrievers 


***

Why did the chicken cross the road?
Darwin:
A1: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.
A2: The fittest chickens cross the road.
A3: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in
such a way that they are now genetically dispositioned to crossroads.


***

Metallurgist:
A pseudo-scientist, who uses undetermined suppositions, indefinite theories,
and inexpressible hypotheses; which are based on unreliable information,
uncertain quantities, and incomplete data; derived from non-reproducible
experiments and incomplete investigations; using equipment and instruments
of questionable accuracy, insufficient resolution, and inadequate
sensitivity, to arrive at timid, tentative cloudy, abstruse, and
non-committed conclusions prefaced by the phrase, "IT DEPENDS".


***

Helium walks into a bar and orders a beer. 

The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve noble gases here." 

Helium doesn't react.


***
A Short History of Medicine

I have an earache:

2000 B.C. -Here, eat this root.
1000 A.D. -That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.
1850 A.D. -That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.
1940 A.D. -That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.
1985 A.D. -That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.
2000 A.D. -That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.:

Thoughts to reflect on
What is the bioeconomy and how could it help fight...
 

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Monday, 21 June 2021

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